Hey y’all! I haven’t had the chance to blog in a while about my personal life, but I’m back. I’m hoping to blog multiple times a week, as this is the best way to relieve stress for me.
So let’s start with beginning of this week.
I was motivated to start fresh with Vaeh going back to school after Christmas break. I had everything planned out. I was on time, on track, mostly. Monday was her first day back, and let’s just say, my anxiety peaked that day. I had gotten used to her being home with us, and I let my nerves get the best of me that day until she got home. Tuesday was a little better, but honestly a blur. Yesterday, yeah I can’t really remember much either.
Today, however, I could give you the most detailed description of how today has been. I won’t spill the whole story, and you’ll understand why. Just prepare yourself.
Last night I decided I needed a bomb ass coffee from Starbucks. It’s been a while, I deserve one, I told myself. This morning, I actually wake up at a decent time, with plenty of time to get things ready to start the day. We get ready, and drop Vaeh off at school. I make the 45 minute commute to Starbucks. Yes, that’s the nearest store to us. Remember though, I deserved this coffee. I get back home, and noticed something strange. My anxiety gets worse. I got my son settled with breakfast, to go on a search outside of our house to try and find our pup, Zeus. Let me tell you, this dog always runs to the door after he’s been let out. Always. For 30 minutes, I tried calling for him, whistling, looking everywhere, and nothing. At this point, I’m thinking he ran off, or someone took him. After looking all over, I came inside and just stood at our sliding doors. I just stopped. I said, “God, please help me find our dog. Please.” With tears in my eyes, I got myself busy for 5 minutes to calm down. Literally, being busy, helps my anxiety and stress levels. After the 5 minutes passed, I stood at our side door, just checking. I looked from side to side, and heard a ruffling sound. I look up, and I see Zeus. There he is. I’m in a pair of jeans, a T-shirt, and a jacket. I run outside, and as I’m walking up to him, I’m thinking what are you doing? Then, the worst. Something wasn’t right. He was trying to move. I did the best that I could after that, with some help of course. Special thank you to the ones that helped me today, I could not have gotten through any of that without you. A few hours pass, with a lot of tears, anxiety, and chaos. I’ll leave it at that.
In February of 2018, we got 2 pups, spur of the moment. They were supposed to be the same breed. Although, Zeus got his name from the original owner because he was the biggest. Raven, our smallest pup, was our daughter’s dog. We lost her in November of last year. Today, we lost Zeus.
Animals are going to wonder. While we live by a main highway, our pups usually avoided the road. Either way, they are pups and will still adventure out. What saddens me the most, is the fact that there are so many people that just keep on going. They don’t stop, they don’t check, they don’t care.
Today has been my worst anxiety day in a LONG WHILE. So bad in fact, that I have an actual anxiety knot in my throat. Yes it’s legit.
My point is, drive safer, pay attention, stop and check. Our fur babies are family. If you’ve manage to read all of this, thank you. Thank you for taking the time to read my anxious filled thrown together vent.
Please keep myself and my family in your thoughts & prayers. Send good vibes, from where ever you are.
Raven & Zeus will always hold a special place in all of our hearts. RIP Pups ♥️
Much Love, Chels ♥️
#anxiety #anxious #anxietysucks #loss #love #betterdaysahead