No, I am not pregnant. Let’s get that straight before I get all of the messages and what not. You’re probably here because, well the name of the blog, or to find out why I left y’all hanging from my last blog.
If you haven’t read my previous blog: First Pregnancy, check it out, seriously. All of the story pieces will come together perfectly.
Picking up where I left off…
Before I knew it, it was the big day. Thursday, September 5th, 2013, baby day. I didn’t sleep at all that night. I was too excited and way to nervous to even think about sleep. Not to mention the day before they had me come in to apply the gel to my cervix. Needless to say, that night was not fun. The clock slowing ticking as I was tossing and turning, keeping my husband from getting any sleep.
We were scheduled to arrive at Labor & Delivery at 5:30 AM that morning. They gave me the whole spill about what to expect once we arrive, not to eat anything, all the works. Right…let’s tell the soon-to-be mom carrying what seemed like a toddler at this point she can’t eat. I didn’t eat much, but you bet I did have me a sausage biscuit at 5:20 AM. I sure as hell did, and of course ended up regretting that sausage biscuit about 2 hours later. Don’t worry, we’ll get to that.
We arrive at Labor & Delivery, get checked in, and sign some last minute paperwork. They take me back to a room. An actual room y’all. Not one of those pre-exam rooms that I had previously checked into once a week for 6-7 weeks for the hell of it. I think that’s when it hit me. This is the day. This is the day that I’ll get to hold this sweet womb loving baby girl in my arms, and my body will go back to “normal”. Let me add that my body has never been normal after having kids. If you’re a mom and your body went back to “normal”, you’re a unicorn and I have questions.
We had been in the room for about 30 minutes at this point. Nurses and doctors in and out, hooking me up to all of the monitors and preparing me for one of the longest days ahead. I am not about to officially warn you for what you will read next. If you’re a mom you already know. If you’re expecting or trying for a baby, buckle up girlfriend. Don’t worry though, not all pregnancies or births are the same. This is just my own personal story. First, they started with the enema. I told y’all I would regret the sausage biscuit. Trips back and forth to the restroom for about 15 minutes, thinking the whole hospital and the nearest town over can hear you, talk about embarrassing. Even more so because my husband was sitting right outside of the door in the chair next to the bed waiting to help me back to the bed. For better – for worse, sickness and in health, right? I cannot even begin to tell you that in that moment I wanted him in a sound proof room where he couldn’t hear a thing. The worst part, 15 minutes in and you think you’re done. No honey, you might as well make that seat your happy place for now.
I lay back down, and they came in to let me know they are going to start the pitocin. At this time it’s about 7:45 AM. Time to get this show on the road. Y’all, I had some major high expectations. In my head I thought, I’m going to dilate super fast with this gel and pitocin and this baby will be out by noon – all natural delivery. Let’s all laugh together now. That’s what we all want or expect right? I know I am not the only mom with high hopes of “my plan” happening.
Little by little every 2-3 hours I dilated maybe 1-2 centimeters, if that. As far as that pitocin junk, it is no joke. I spent hours having strong contractions every 1-2 minutes. They would come in to check on me, and ask me if I wanted anything for the pain – referring to the epidural. No, no, no, and hell no! I had my mind set on doing this natural. Not only that, I was TERRIFIED of something going into my back. Seriously, terrified. Literally as I am typing this I can feel my back cringing. HARD PASS.
I could not sit or lay down at all. I spent most of the day standing and swaying my hips back and forth, because that’s the only way I could manage that shit. They did give me something (I cannot for the life of me remember what it’s called #mombrain) to help me “sleep”. What a joke that was. I would be mid-standing/swaying during a contraction, once the contraction would stop, my eyes would get super heavy. I literally almost fell to the floor more than once. My husband stood with me and swayed the whole day. I always joke and say we danced the whole time. I mean, pretty much.
Family in and out of the room to see me in labor misery, just chaos. I find it very weird that people surround you during labor. For me, I was hot, heated, in the worst pain I had ever felt and needed some space. My husband, mom, and aunt stayed close by in the room with me the majority of the day of course.
Around 4 PM that day, they checked me for what seem like the millionth time, and I had only dilated to 6 centimeters. Major slap in the face. I was exhausted. Over the next few hours I did my “dancing” thing, and watched the monitors like crazy. I would watch the line slowly increase as my contractions would get worse, the steady 2 minute line, and then watch it go back down as they went away. Still no epidural and at this point it would have probably been too late anyways.
They broke my water around 7 PM and my doctor had to turn her because she was “sunny side up”. Meaning that although she was head down, her ass was in the air. That was hella painful. They checked me again around 8 PM, and I had finally dilated to 9 centimeters. At this point I was already feeling pressure. I felt like I had to push, and could not stop. In pain, while also thanking the Heavens above because it was almost baby time! I thought, wow, you actually did it. You made it! You went all day with no pain meds and you’re about to have this baby. Obviously, after they broke my water, having no pain meds, and being dilated to 9 centimeters – this pain was insane.
At 8:30 PM they checked me for the last time. I was ready, or so I thought. Reality check, I was stuck. I hadn’t dilated anymore, when usually once you hit 7-8 centimeters, everything just progresses. Not in my case. With my husband, mom, and aunt standing beside me while I cried in pain, my doctor told me he thought it would be best for me to have a c-section. Feeling defeated, I cried and put my head down, looking over to my husband and family with just sadness written all over my face. The one thing that I was most terrified of that I had gone all day without, and being terrified of the c-section itself was about to happen.
Over the next 10 minutes 2 nurses spent a few minutes explaining everything to me. They told me how to sit for the epidural, and that it was best to do the epidural during a contraction – I’m guessing so my mind wouldn’t worry too much about the needle going into my back. My mom and aunt cried with me as they hugged me, which made me worry even more but I was done and ready. The nurses asked me if I wanted to walk or be wheeled back to surgery. What do y’all think I did? I mean I hadn’t sat down hardly at all the entire day and I wasn’t about to do that now since I still had time. I had to stop once for 1 contraction on the way to the operating room.
It’s cold back here. I remember thinking I was freezing, when in actual fact, my nerves were so overworked. I walk over to the bed and the nurse helps me up there to get the spinal tap. I chose the spinal tap over the epidural because, an epidural takes about 20 minutes to really kick in and stays connected to your back. The spinal tap on the other hand, is like one injection and works instantly. I lay my head on the nurses shoulder, and feel the cold cloth cleaning my back. I was so tense, they ended up having to re-stick me 2 more times. My anxiety and nerves were at an all time high. They strapped my arms down during the c-section because they just kept shaking back and forth like jittering. All of that seemed to go by so fast to me. My husband however, said he paced the hallway back and forth for what felt like forever to him and was pissed because they didn’t get him back there any sooner.
I laid there, didn’t feel much, just saw a lot of commotion. My husband sat beside me and watched the entire process. Then, he saw her for the first time. I won’t be sharing the picture he took but I remember his face. He was happy but also mortified. He took the picture to show me in recovery. He said she was so purple looking when the they got her out which freaked him out. His words: “She is just beautiful, and the process is amazing, but nobody tells you they’ll look purple.” – not every baby has that color. However, my doctor did say a c-section would be best so the baby didn’t go into distress. On top of that, they said the cord had started to wrap around her neck some. So in other words, listen to your doctor.
Our daughter, Vaeh Lee, born on Thursday, September 5th, 2013 at 9:18 PM. There she was. So beautiful, mostly bald, but we could already see that red hair coming through. I had loved her since I found out we were having a baby. Seeing her for the first time, my heart felt something it had never felt before. They laid her down to clean her, measure, and weigh her. She was 9 pounds and 7 ounces y’all. No wonder I couldn’t dilate to 10 centimeters. Kind of thankful for that now. She is now 5 years old, and like I said…she thinks she is the “Queen of the bath waters” (& just about everything else with her little sassy self) – must be the redhead in her.
Just thinking how we thought our family was complete…
See y’all on the next blog!
XOXO – Chels ♥️