Social Anxiety – The Weekly Bloggers Group: Week 2
I’ve basically been an anxious person my whole life. I don’t know if I got it from my mama, but it’s a possibility. However, I do think that it depends on how your raised, or at least that plays a huge part, in my opinion.
When I was a child, I was so shy. I wouldn’t talk to anyone, smile at anyone, the ultimate Queen of RBF. It’s not that I meant to. I just didn’t know how to be any other way. I had a very hard time making friends growing up. I stayed to myself most of the time, and sadly people avoided me because they assumed I didn’t like them.
I was terrified of being judged or made fun of. For many reasons. I hated the thought of someone judging me for the way I look. I hated the thought of someone judging me for the way I talk. I hated the thought of someone judging me for my thought process or what makes me, me. Therefore, I avoided being social with others to protect myself.
I constantly thought of scenarios in my head before I would actually talk to someone. What if they asked me a question? Would I have an answer? I would tell myself, “you’ll seem stupid if you don’t answer”, and I hated that feeling. I avoided most to all sports other than group sports like cheer leading or majorette. Instead of all eyes being on just me, all eyes were on the whole group, most of the time. I loved every minute of cheering and twirling my baton, yet it still made me so nervous at times.
In high school, I avoided reading out loud every chance I got, and I loved to read. There were days when the teacher would go through the desk rows to read a paragraph. I was the shy, socially awkward, anxious girl that would practice the paragraph I knew I would be reading. By the time my teacher got to me, I was “prepared” with a big ass pit in my stomach.
I didn’t really open up until I was around 17/18 years old and working at a small burger joint. I loved my job at that time in my life. Everyone made it so fun, and when I opened up, everyone loved how funny and open I was. They loved me for me. Which made me feel amazing, and genuinely cared for.
There are times when I hold back, but I also have times when I say too much. I guess at 27,
I’m slowly realizing that we are all unique and that’s what makes everyone beautiful in their own ways.
Is social anxiety something you struggle with? It social anxiety something you are overcoming? How do you cope? Let’s talk! I want to know more about you! For those that share their thoughts with me, I’d love to feature you on my Instagram stories! Let’s end the stigma! Inspire others to be inspired, always.
XO – Chels